barry: "why yes, i am obsessed with cheese - and you?"

i ate these two delectable crostini for dinner the other night. just thought i'd share. they were tasty; they were pretty; they were damn sexy; and yes, they were particularly cheesy.

using two halves of a whole wheat ciabatta bun i created two very different tastes. on one half, i combined garlic, apple slices, brie and cinnamon (out of the two, i would say this was my favourite) for a sweet, yet savoury taste, while on the opposite side i wilted spinach with olive oil, garlic, sun-dried tomato feta (on sale at superstore), lemon juice and dill, to create a salty, pseudo-spanikopita topping.

all of this food manipulation came about due to a craving for some cheese. enjoy!

barry wonders what's going wrong.

what the hell am i doing wrong, guys? i keep trying to recapture the deliciousness of central america by recreating fried plantains (platanos maduros for those of the local tongue) as can be seen below, but keep getting some kind of wussy version that just doesn't do it for me (see above picture). oh-so-ripe plantains? check. a wee bit of veggie oil? check. salt and sugar? check.

hell - i've even brought in a dash of cinnamon for kicks!

and though this rendition IS tasty, it's not the same, and i want the same.

so i need your help, and recipe knowledge, to tell me what i'm doing wrong. pointers, links, recipes, WHATEVER - just help me recreate the taste sensation that i'm missing.

barry IS ridiculousness.

so you know those people who can't make up their mind? everything sounds just dandy to them, and if they choose one option, that means forgoing the other, which is truly catastrophic and can't be imagined, so when you ask them "chicken or beef?" they just say "yes please". you know, those people??

well, clearly i'm one of them.

case in point: sunday. lovely day, sunday was. the sun was shining, it wasn't too cold; it was a day for grocery shopping at superstore on 51 avenue, without a care in the world...except for the fact that i forgot to eat before i went there.

damn.

shopping hungry is truly a massive mistake. what isn't a massive mistake are frozen kiwi mussels for $2.98. delicious, cheap, and uber tasty in a white wine sauce, served with garlic toast for dipping. nice? try frickin' amazing! who can pass that up? clearly, not i, which is what i started off the day with thanks to a super simple recipe from the reluctant gourmet.

what a delightful meal, yes? one that should have satisfied me, but was it enough? of course not! not when i could also be eating triple chocolate haagen-dazs smothered in brandied cherries. it wasn't as if i was even hungry, but the very thought of going another minute without tasting this delightful pairing was unimaginable.

dear god - i'm like a hobbit. soon i'll be eating second breakfast, followed by elevensies, lunch and first tea. why should i choose between one decadent dish, when i could have two?

...or three...

there was no stopping me.

you would think that, stuffed with mussels, cherries and ice-cream, the madness would end, but no: i needed vegetables. and steak. and why would i have a simple, boring steak salad with just a few key ingredients when i could have them all combined together in one "holy hell!" dish?

first, i started with garlic mashed potatoes, that were no ordinary garlic mashed potatoes...

there were potatoes. there was garlic. and there was cauliflower, celeraic and dill.

then there were roasted beets and grilled onions.

there was steak.

there were tomatoes and corn, spinach and shredded red cabbage.

there weren't croutons made out of sliced cheese bagels, smothered in garlic butter and toasted, but that's only because i forgot.

there was brie; there was blueberry-cinnamon rolled goat cheese.

there were apples and guacamole.
finally, there was a dusting of cinnamon and a drizzle of mustard vinaigrette.

and yes, i ate it all. and yes, it tasted damn good. and yes, i am ridiculousness - hear my stomach roar.

barry recaps his central american culinary adventure in haiku.

hey boys and girls. i should just clarify that my obsession with food during my travels into costa rica and nicaragua meant fewer food pictures than i would have liked - i was far too busy eating. but i did like the food - even most of the food at the resort i stayed at. enjoy!

costa rican fare,
so tantilizing...mostly.
load me up with pork!

oh, calamari.
breaded to oblivion.
do you see the grease?

imperial beer!
beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer!
you were good to me.

sketchy bus depot,
selling bagged meat with veggies.
oh, nicaragua!

curious pink stuff,
i wondered just what you were.
disguised coconut.

breakfast at le mar,
fried plantains, fried cheese, beans, rice!
your taste is sinful.

nicaraguan pop -
bottle pepsi delights me!
oh - bottle's reused.
:S

the beef makes me cringe,
the pork excites my tastebuds.
to them, chicken's king.

to monteverde,
where coffee is best - but wait!
just eat the sweet fruit.

barry gets creative.

so i very recently got cable tv

(don't get too excited, i'm getting rid of it by the end of the month),

and managed to catch the last 10 minutes of oliver's twist: an older tv show featuring british celebrity chef, jamie oliver. he was doing delightful things with bread, but what really caught my attention was a grape-rosemary calzone he was preparing. i only caught that there was pine nuts, rosemary, grapes, wine and icing sugar in the mix, but it looked too amazing to not try.

with the help of a (dis)similar recipe i found online, i whipped up my own take of oliver's calzones for a couple of friends this past weekend. the result was such a hit that this is now going to be my thanksgiving contribution for the upcoming weekend. super simple to make, super impressive to look at, and with a taste that is pretty damn good, you'll be the talk of the thanksgiving table, finally one-uping your cook-it-all sister.

i win dammit! i finally win!!

grape-rosemary calzones

pizza dough:

1 package yeast (or 2 1/4 tsp)
1 - 2 tsp sugar

1 c. warm water

combine above ingredients, and put in a warm place to activate (about 3 - 5 minutes). it will start to bubble.

add 2 to 2 1/2 c. flour to yeast mixture (start with 2, and see how it goes from there) with some salt and olive oil. the dough should be elasticy.

let 'er rise.

filling
approx. 2 cups grapes, roughly chopped, or as i like to do it, squished with your hands
roughly chopped fresh rosemary minus the sticks (as much as you like. i used about 2 tbsp.)

cashews - yes please!

olive oil - just a splash
sweet wine (oliver used vin sinto; i used something sweet and red from the okanagan. WAY cheaper)
icing sugar (approx 3 tbsp or so)

mix the filling all together. the icing sugar with help coat everything, but everything will be liquidy).

roll out small rounds of dough and spoon onto them the grape mixture. top with some chevre and fold over and crimp together the sides. add a wee bit of salt and olive oil to the top of the calzone and bake at 350F until golden brown (15 minutes or so).

barry heads over to the cactus club cafe.

so, if you're feeling a little la-ti-da, and want to experience the creations of an iron chef, you should head down to the cactus club pronto. chef rob feenie has created some delightful concoctions that may or may not give him another win on iron chef, but if nothing else give your tastebuds a run for your money. and there is quite a bit of money trading hands. my buds and i started off with some beef carpaccio ($13), followed by our entrees of butternut squash and fried sage ravioli, vegetarian fajitas and beef dip (~$15 - $25). we then ended off the meal with a bang, and had his key lime pie (~$8), made from scratch with love. though the individual meal choices are not ridiculously expensive, they add up as you want to try more and more dishes. out of the entrees, my clear favourite was the ravioli, but the other dishes were lovely too.

beef carpaccio
you were the evening's highlight.
i want more, dammit!

sage ravioli,

simply done with truffle oil.
you were crazy rich.

refreshing with zing,
you were other's favourite.
get me some pie, bitch!

on a side note, our waitress gave us the skinny on the dress code for wait staff. all women must wear heels no shorter than one inch. umm....what? they're on their feet for how long, running around with our food and drink, and flats and low heels are out. can anyone say union?